Its been almost 2.5 years since I last wrote something and while watching a youtube video earlier I felt the need to write something. So here I am, about to jot down a few lines. Don't expect too much. I will be brief.
Much has changed in the past, almost, 3 years I have been in Japan. The kid who came to Japan is gone. He does not exist anymore. He went through a number of transitions in his state of being and he is now the person who is typing. Still not done. A lot further to go.
One thing that has not changed is the chaos within. I used to be a complex mess of emotions inside and it is what I am even to this day. I feel that it has gotten better in some way and worse in some others. I used to be a lonely person on the inside but quite energetic and happy on the outside. I am the same even today. I know why. It is because I crave for something that will never satisfy me. It is this contradiction that will leave me hollow till the day the curtain falls.
However, there have been many welcome changes. The nerd started focusing on his health. His body transformed and he is not done pushing his limits. Who knows when he will stop.
I have also become much wiser over time. I have learned the importance of holding back from saying mean things and trolling people unnecessarily.
I have learned the importance of letting people go and focusing on being genuine with people who I feel can be good friends.
But the most interesting change I have gone through is that I am someone who will never ever underestimate nor mock anyone ever again. I used to think that I was quite smart till someone within my vicinity destroyed my pride. This one person, a true black horse, tore my pride to shreds and put me in my place. He is none the wiser about this incident but he has earned my respect. As a result I have also started being very respectful in the way I speak and behave with people I used to call names. I saw my reflection in the mirror and saw a truly ugly person looking back at me. No more. That part of life is now over. Never again.
But since embracing the situation, I have realized that "slow and steady wins the race" is true. Perseverance wins all. Your smartness means nothing. Pride comes before a fall. Respect everyone despite what you see of them.
So all in all: wiser, humbler and healthier.
This is what I have achieved. A good set of things I have achieved in roughly 3 years I suppose.
I may or may not post things frequently. Lets see how compelled I feel.
Much has changed in the past, almost, 3 years I have been in Japan. The kid who came to Japan is gone. He does not exist anymore. He went through a number of transitions in his state of being and he is now the person who is typing. Still not done. A lot further to go.
One thing that has not changed is the chaos within. I used to be a complex mess of emotions inside and it is what I am even to this day. I feel that it has gotten better in some way and worse in some others. I used to be a lonely person on the inside but quite energetic and happy on the outside. I am the same even today. I know why. It is because I crave for something that will never satisfy me. It is this contradiction that will leave me hollow till the day the curtain falls.
However, there have been many welcome changes. The nerd started focusing on his health. His body transformed and he is not done pushing his limits. Who knows when he will stop.
I have also become much wiser over time. I have learned the importance of holding back from saying mean things and trolling people unnecessarily.
I have learned the importance of letting people go and focusing on being genuine with people who I feel can be good friends.
But the most interesting change I have gone through is that I am someone who will never ever underestimate nor mock anyone ever again. I used to think that I was quite smart till someone within my vicinity destroyed my pride. This one person, a true black horse, tore my pride to shreds and put me in my place. He is none the wiser about this incident but he has earned my respect. As a result I have also started being very respectful in the way I speak and behave with people I used to call names. I saw my reflection in the mirror and saw a truly ugly person looking back at me. No more. That part of life is now over. Never again.
But since embracing the situation, I have realized that "slow and steady wins the race" is true. Perseverance wins all. Your smartness means nothing. Pride comes before a fall. Respect everyone despite what you see of them.
So all in all: wiser, humbler and healthier.
This is what I have achieved. A good set of things I have achieved in roughly 3 years I suppose.
I may or may not post things frequently. Lets see how compelled I feel.
No comments:
Post a Comment